Yes. I've done it again. With a different male friend. Which means that I never learn any lesson and deserve everything that karma throws at me. And, my friends, the lesson here is that alcohol is evil and wrong. Seriously. Because again, I find all of my emotions become entangled once the beer, wine and gin flow and I find it so difficult to draw the line between friendly feelings and amorous ones. Also, at the time, I don't feel like I want to, because (especially with this friend)it's all done with such comfortable familiarity and in a relaxed situation that it feels natural (alcohol tends to do this. Red flags ought to flash, warning bells ought to ring BUT ALCOHOL BLINDS AND DEAFENS US). It's only in the morning when I think, how will this end? Can it end with our friendship in tact? I would like to think so. But really I think it is just a stupid stupid thing to do that I would have more control over if I was in a meaningful relationship at the moment. Which I'm not, but should that mean that I ought to jeopardise friendships? No. NO. I can't stand this. Where is my self control and self esteem? Especially after the last time. Seriously, I'm worried about myself now. I think that I need help. Because in an hour, it'll be time for bed . . . . . .